Finding Your Why Doesn’t Work, Here’s What Does.

I got an email the other day and the subject was was titled Finding Your Why.

This email went on to talk about the old cliche that we have all heard before. If you find your reason why, when you start struggling you will have a reason to continue   This “why” is supposed to keep you on track and headed toward your goal.

(Watch this video or  read on below)


I’m here to tell you that it’s a bunch of hog-wash!

Finding your “why” doesn’t work.

You know what does work? Finding your “why not”!

I know it sounds weird but finding your “why not” will actually help keep you motivate and moving forward more than your “why”.

Because excuses carry more emotional power then your motivation. Let me repeat…Your excuses carry more emotional power then your motivation.

So, what exactly is your “why not?”  Your why not is an excuse. It’s  a way to get out of what your wanting to do.  Your “why not’s” are all the reasons, situations and things running thru your mind that make you feel like you should delay the process, not try, or wait till the time is right.   I’ve got news for ya…the time is never right the time is  right now!

Some examples of “why not’s” are:

  • I don’t want to start the diet till next Tuesday because its Memorial Day Weekend
  • I can’t start keto now, its my sons birthday next week.
  • We are going on vacation in two weeks so I will start exercising when I get back.

Those are your why nots. And the why not’s are where the power is. Once you have identified your “why not’s” take the following steps:

Reverse Engineer Your Why Not 

First, you can reverse engineer your why not. Let’s take, for example a Ketogenic diet. At the time of this writting I am starting a Ketogenic Diet next Monday. And as I sit here and think about how I am going to start that Ketogenic diet next Monday my mind starts running. And just like it always does, my little doubt gremlin starts talking to me and I start thinking about all the reasons and all the excuses  I have for not doing it, or waiting another week to start.

Here is how that looks:

“Ethan’s (my son) birthday is next Tuesday and if I start keto on Monday I’ll  be on day two of keto.  He is going to want to go to dinner on his birthday and eat cake. Cake is delicious and dinner is fun.  Maybe I should wait until Wednesday to start the diet.  Well, actually Wednesday is already half way thru the week so I might as well wait till the next Monday and start fresh at the top of the week.  Yes, that feels right.”

Can you find the “why not’s” in this statement?  It’s full of them!

These reason can be found as an obstacle and a reasons why I should not do the diet. Under normal circumstances I, or you, may decide that is enough to NOT go for it!

By reverse engineering each “why not” you will find ways around each of the reasons and obstacles you are believing to be true.  Did you read that…I said “you are believing to be true”. Because you are choosing to believe each of the obstacles to be true.  And just like you choose to believe those obstacles to be true, you can believe them to be false as well.

Now, let’s reverse engineer each reason.  First, so yes my son has a birthday. When we go out to eat as a family I will eat a salad instead of pizza.  I will still be celebrating him, and he does not care what I eat.  He is not going to feel less loved if I don’t eat pizza.  When it comes time to eat cake, I will not eat the cake.  I can have cake at any time, and I am choosing to not partake on this particular day.  My son will still turn 12, he will still feel loved and the day will still be special.

Second, cake is delicious and dinner is fun.  Yes cake it delicious, but is this the LAST time I will ever have the opportunity to eat cake?  No.  I can eat cake anytime I want.  In fact, I can drive down to the store right now and get some cake if I want, but I don’t want to.  There is plenty of cake in the world and I will have the opportunity to eat cake again in the future.  And I will choose to not eat cake on his birthday as well.  As for the  dinner is fun part, yes it is and you an have plenty of fun without food. Food and fun are not dependent of each other.

State Your “Why Not” Outloud

This may sound silly, but by looking yourself in the mirror and stating, out loud, all your excuses it completely takes away their power. Once you say them out loud you realize how much control over those thought you actually do have.  So, go ahead.  Go stand in front of a mirror and state out loud all the reasons why your not going for what it is that you want at this very moment.

Once you hear the word leave your mouth, you will feel the power of that emotion leave your body, and recognize the power you have held within this whole time to go for it and accomplish your goal



I can be contact at brandi@safax.com for questions or comments. To book speaking engagements please use the subject line “Speaking”.


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